Get Carter

In an unprecedented move, the White House has responded to former president Jimmy Carter, the only president who it's really difficult to remember what he looked like without imagining the pilot in Airplane crossed with a shaven bloodhound, after he claimed that the present Bush administration was the 'the worst in history'.

A spokesman for the Mr Bush said that Mr Carter was 'increasingly irrelevant', which is a little harsh given that he's about 758 years old and not as mad as a box full of frogs like most other former presidents.

The response marks a departure from the deference that sitting presidents have traditionally shown their predecessors. Personally, I think it's great. If I'd been the president of the United States of America, I'd march around telling everyone exactly what I think of them. To be able to say what he wants should be Mr Carter's absolute right.

It doesn't matter. It's not like anybody is listening.