Never Mind Brittany; Help Jenna Jameson

She is clearly crying out for help. Actually, more like bellowing.

I've long lived my life by the tenet WWJD (What Would Jenna Do), but have recently realized that may no longer be such a smart idea.

First, the vaginoplasty. Correction........botched Vaginoplasty. Ew.

Washington, Mar 31 (ANI): Porn star Jenna Jameson is reportedly so annoyed with the results of her vaginoplasty that she has refused to speak to anyone, and in turn has almost jeopardised her best-selling book, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star's, " chances of being made into a movie.

"She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy. She has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie," " the source added."

Oh, Baaaad choice of words, Source.

Second, the hilarious coming out backing of Hillary Clinton:

PR.com: "Who's your favorite Democratic front runner for 2008? Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or John Edwards?" Jenna Jameson: "I love Hillary. I think that in some ways she's pretty conservative for a Democrat, but I would love to have a woman in office. I think that it would be a step in the right direction for our country, and there would be less focus on war and more focus on bettering society."

PR.com: "Do you find that the climate of the adult industry changes when there is a Republican administration versus Democratic?"

Jenna Jameson: "Absolutely. The Clinton administration was the best years for the adult industry and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office. I would love to have Al Gore in office. When Republicans are in office, the problem is, a lot of times they try to put their cross hairs on the adult industry, to make a point."

"It's sad, when there are so many different things that are going on in the world: war, and people are dying of genocide...I look forward to another Democrat being in office. It just makes the climate so much better for us, and I know that once all our troops come home, things are going to be better and I think that getting Bush out of office is the most important thing right now."

Tee heeing at the obvious fact that President Clinton was good for the porn industry. The revenue from all the Monica/cigar / Oral Office movies alone must have been staggering. And I'm so glad the pesky Wars and genocide go by the wayside and are no longer such a nuisance once a Dem is in office, making the climate much better for the porn industry. That IS what matters most (she says sarcastically. Although, I've long said that MORE porn is needed, preferably air-dropped into the Middle East. It will, I guarantee, get them out of caves plotting terror. Plus, it will help the poor, sexually harassed livestock).

But, if she wants bush out of the office, then why is she backing Hillary? (groan). Oh wait....never mind. Safe to assume Hillary is bush-less. Meow AND groan. That was bitchy, even for me. Apologies! (but not apologetic enough to edit myself)

Now, the final straw, she's just had her implants removed.

LOS ANGELES — Porn princess Jenna Jameson has officially retired from starring in XXX movies, and to mark the transition she’s had her famous breast implants removed.

"When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach," she told Us Weekly. "Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter … before, when I jogged, I had to hold my boobs. I looked like I was molesting myself!"

Jenna added that she was so "ecstatic" after the surgery that she "went home and cried."

As are a multitude of men (and some women) crying tonight, Jenna. Oh, the sorrow you've wrought! It is very clearly, however, a pathetic and sad cry for help. I'm there for you, Jenna. I'm off to file the appropriate papers for a new Save Jenna campaign. I need to work on a name first, though. I'm open to suggestions.

Mission Iran?

According to John Bolton, Yes. In fact, he "absolutely hopes" we strike Iran within the next six months. I respect John Bolton immensely and I most often agree with him. However, call me crazy, but isn't the timing a bit disconcerting? Aren't we stretched a wee bit thin as it is? Militarily?

I also don't see any conceivable way for President Bush to get any support whatsoever to authorize such a military strike. He's little, if any, political capital left and the public is in no way going to support another military action. The majority want us out of the present War as it is.

However, it seems to me that it is pretty clear that Iran IS involved militarily already. They are, no matter how hard Keith Olberman and his ilk try to spin otherwise, involved in Iraq and they ARE killing American and coalition forces.

But, I'm no expert. And perhaps wary only out of selfish fear. The World scares me of late.

Which makes me ever so grateful, as always, for the brave men and women around the World fighting for our freedoms, our safety and our very lives. Brave men and women, all.

Um, John Edwards? Maybe Try Thinking Before Speaking?

Seriously, this dude appears to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic and I am thanking my lucky stars that he didn't become Vice President in '04. His latest gaffe:

August 3, 2007 -- WASHINGTON - John Edwards, who yesterday demanded Democratic candidates return any campaign donations from Rupert Murdoch and News Corp., himself earned at least $800,000 for a book published by one of the media mogul's companies.

The Edwards campaign said the multimillionaire trial lawyer would not return the hefty payout from Murdoch for the book titled "Home: The Blueprints of Our Lives." The campaign didn't respond to a question from The Post about whether it was hypocritical for Edwards to take money from News Corp. while calling for other candidates not to.

In addition to a $500,000 advance from HarperCollins, which is owned by News Corp., Edwards also was cut a check for $300,000 for expenses. Edwards claimed $333,334 in royalties from last year's release of the book, according to media accounts. The campaign said last night that those funds were part of the advance.

He says he gave that amount to charity, which would also provide tax benefits for Edwards. "We're more than happy to give even more of Murdoch's money to Habitat for Humanity and other good causes," spokesman Eric Schultz told The Post yesterday. He declined to show proof, however, that Edwards had donated the $500,000 advance or $300,000 expense checks to charity.

Meanwhile, Edwards yesterday attacked Hillary Rodham Clinton for taking more than $20,000 in donations from News Corp. officials, arguing that the company's Fox News Channel is tilted to the right. News Corp. also owns The New York Post.

Clinton declined to respond.

The Edwards campaign said it would return less than $1,000 in donations from three Fox employees.

Languishing in the polls behind Clinton and Barack Obama, Edwards also has led the Democratic field's boycott of a Fox co-sponsored presidential debate.

"The time has come for Democrats to stop pretending to be friends with the very people who demonize the Democratic Party," Edwards said.

Uh, Mr. Edwards? You kind of deflate the sails of your intended "gotcha!" moment when you somehow fail to remember that you received $780,000 MORE than the people you are attempting to criticize. I don't even want to know how it is possible that one can fail to remember more than 3/4 of a million dollars. Although I guess it could be rather difficult to keep track of all your cash in a 28,000 s.f home. Meow.

Plus, give it up already with all the puerile Fox news bashing, lefties. Seriously, can't y'all come up with something better than "Faux Noise"? It is really played. And wasn't even creative or funny to begin with. I'd suggest coming up with something better than "Shrub" for President Bush as well. Really juvenile and, again, not even funny. I mean, nothing wrong with a little immaturity as long as it is humorous at least. Just trying to help!

And attend the damn Fox News debate, Democrats. If you can't handle Wayne Goler, then how in the hell do you think you can take on the little man from Iran? Al Quada? Hugo Chavez? OK, Britt Hume is a tad intimidating, but still. And while I'm at it.....Republicans man up and do the stupid youtube debate. No one will be paying attention to your answers anyway. They'll be too busy mentally poking fun at the video submissions. While waiting hopefully for the Obama Girl to make an appearance.