Simon Cowell, the only man alive to have both a short back and sides and a centre parting at the same time, has been accused of 'rolling his eyes' on American Idol while one of the contestants paid tribute to the victims of the shootings at Virginia Tech. Simon took time out from shitting money to refute the claims. The oddly-shaped pop impresario said that he couldn't hear what was being said on stage due to microphone issues, and was actually rolling his eyes because he was discussing said contestants dismal performance with fellow judge Paula Abdul, a woman who looks like a lion might if it became human for a day.
The story makes the front page of the BBC news website and countless others no doubt. Meanwhile, 32 families and countless friends mourn their loss, the world keeps turning, and some pigshit-brained oxygen thieving media moron smugly pats themself on the back for managing to spin out a horrific tragedy by attaching a half-baked celebrity gossip story to it.
They remain blissfully unaware that somewhere in deep space the devil has manifested itself as an enormous arse the size of the moon and is currently wiping itself on their soul for all eternity.
The story makes the front page of the BBC news website and countless others no doubt. Meanwhile, 32 families and countless friends mourn their loss, the world keeps turning, and some pigshit-brained oxygen thieving media moron smugly pats themself on the back for managing to spin out a horrific tragedy by attaching a half-baked celebrity gossip story to it.
They remain blissfully unaware that somewhere in deep space the devil has manifested itself as an enormous arse the size of the moon and is currently wiping itself on their soul for all eternity.
8 comments:
This non story is a sad distraction from the real tragedy. I thought the BBC was supposed to be a "serious" news agency?
-Christi
It's on CNN too. And NBC. Most of them in fact. Thank God Sharon Osbourne didn't fart during the siege at Beslan, it would have been blanket coverage.
Worse than the coverage of John Edwards' all important $400 hair cut.
Love your writing, by the way. Fabulous.
Thankyou Lori, very kind.
Dave good story. Erotic in every non gay sense.
Kev
Simon C always reminds me of a man confused over not only his sexuality and bedroom-skill but moreover his roll in life. Or lack thereof. The icing on the cake is he makes physically and mentally handicapped contestants on his show cry when they discover they arnt actually Britney number 2.
Kev
'They remain blissfully unaware that somewhere in deep space the devil has manifested itself as an enormous arse the size of the moon and is currently wiping itself on their soul for all eternity'
LMFAO hahahah cool
I think your blog is great!
Keep posting!
Awesome!
Bill
Long Island, NY
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