In the sticky grip of summer, 1997 seemed like a good time to change the world. Tony Blair's reinvigorated Labour party swept into power. Princess Diana died, which isn't a good thing of course, but it seemed as though a shift in the structure of the monarchy was afoot. These were exciting times. As it transpired, all that really occured was that florists made lots of money and Helen Mirren grimaced her way to an Oscar ten years later doing an impression of an elderly woman sucking piss from a thistle. Oh, and we all got a day off work.
My personal highlight of this time though was percussive arsewit Phil Collin's assertion that if Labour did get into power, he'd emigrate to Switzerland. What had Switzerland done to deserve this? Nothing. Literally... nothing. They've never done anything at all. Collin's meanwhile proved once and for all that he was a tit of some incredible magnitude.
I was reminded of this recently when aged one-trick-pony Sean Connery, a man who looks increasingly like a grey owl at the point of climax, stated that he'd only leave his castle made entirely from gold in the Bahamas to move back to his native Highlands if Scotland voted for independence at the next election. That's not just a good reason not to vote for independence. It's a good reason to nuke the Bahamas.
The question is, which celebrity would you most like to see not only stop talking politics publicly, but also ram their passport right up their arse?
My personal highlight of this time though was percussive arsewit Phil Collin's assertion that if Labour did get into power, he'd emigrate to Switzerland. What had Switzerland done to deserve this? Nothing. Literally... nothing. They've never done anything at all. Collin's meanwhile proved once and for all that he was a tit of some incredible magnitude.
I was reminded of this recently when aged one-trick-pony Sean Connery, a man who looks increasingly like a grey owl at the point of climax, stated that he'd only leave his castle made entirely from gold in the Bahamas to move back to his native Highlands if Scotland voted for independence at the next election. That's not just a good reason not to vote for independence. It's a good reason to nuke the Bahamas.
The question is, which celebrity would you most like to see not only stop talking politics publicly, but also ram their passport right up their arse?
5 comments:
Wonderful!
My list contains, but is not limited to, George Clooney, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, Jane Fonda and Britney spears. The last one isn't due to political ramblings, but just because she annoys me immensely.
Great to have you Dave. This boy can write.
Kev
Brilliantly written Dave, good to hear you buddy. Love it
Jim
I copy Loris list; and add Richard Gere, Sean Penn, Billy Joe(?) from Greenday, Madonna, Sandra Bullock & her husband, Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore (she sounds so ditzy when she tries to discuss politics), and Maggie Gylenhall (a hideous traitor),.....
I do like Bono and Angelina Jolie because even if I don't always agree with their politics; they educate themselves, they are reasonable, well spoken, they don't resort to cheap insults and Rosie like Haiku poetry, they seem to take their issues more seriously than they do their celebrity, and they actually seem to care, unlike most hollywood hypocrites.
-Christi
Forgot to add, very witty writing.
Christi
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